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Anyone looking for a flatmate?
Dec. 6th, 2007 | 08:38 pm
I'm thinking about moving.
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three more days.
Oct. 9th, 2007 | 04:08 pm
three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days. three more days.
only three more days.
only three more days.
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Telecasters to F. Reverb to 6.
Sep. 20th, 2007 | 08:04 pm
Have you been waiting
For me?
Cause I've been waiting
For you
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
So Long
Out in the streets
And above the boards
Out over bridges
In the mornings
And is all this waiting
Making you feel down?
Is all this waiting
Making you feel tired
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
So Long
For me?
Cause I've been waiting
For you
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
So Long
Out in the streets
And above the boards
Out over bridges
In the mornings
And is all this waiting
Making you feel down?
Is all this waiting
Making you feel tired
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
And I've been waiting
So Long
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(no subject)
Sep. 10th, 2007 | 08:45 pm
Ugh. Stress. Work. They can both go fuck themselves.
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(no subject)
Aug. 16th, 2007 | 12:16 am
Facebook needs a new motto: Ex comparo, libertas.
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(no subject)
Aug. 15th, 2007 | 12:44 am
Arrested Development! Woo! Yes, I'm very very late to the party! But, yes! NO TOUCHING!
Please tell me they give George Michael another joke!
I smiled at work today!
It's 1am!
I can't wait for Superbad!
Zzzzing!
Please tell me they give George Michael another joke!
I smiled at work today!
It's 1am!
I can't wait for Superbad!
Zzzzing!
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We live in the future.
Jul. 27th, 2007 | 11:02 am
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New Belle and Sebastian Album!
Jul. 24th, 2007 | 05:40 pm
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and i am in fits of laughter.
Jul. 9th, 2007 | 06:52 pm
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is this a ________ I see before me?
Jun. 28th, 2007 | 08:03 pm
EXT. DARK, COLD, WET MELBOURNE STREET. THERE ARE TRAM LINES.
PROTAGONIST is standing at a street corner, jaw set and shoulders squared,
gazing into the distance. A light turns green and he begins striding, purposefully.
"Pure Morning" by Placebo starts playing. PROTAGONIST engages in a monologue.
PROTAGONIST
I sense an end to the madness.
A slow change, a scent on the breeze.
Whispers of better things to come and
self-illuminating bricks in the path before me.
And whenever I doubt myself, or if I stumble
I am reminded of my mantra:
Yes, we have no bananas.
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thoughts on Safari 3
Jun. 22nd, 2007 | 12:21 pm
- The search bar should be at the BOTTOM. Like it is in FIREFOX. The browser that INVENTED it.
- I want a preference called "Fuck You, Web Designer." that ignores any CSS rules applied to button elements, excluding background and text colours on text fields.
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the future...
Jun. 21st, 2007 | 10:38 pm
is Camino.
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This will probably only make sense to about 5 of you, and even then, only 2 will find it funny...
Jun. 15th, 2007 | 12:58 pm
I'm working on a new screenplay.
TOPLESS QUANTUM NUCLEAR BONGOS : The Richard Feynman Story
(edit: hooray, i'm slightly more amusing than I thought I was!)
TOPLESS QUANTUM NUCLEAR BONGOS : The Richard Feynman Story
(edit: hooray, i'm slightly more amusing than I thought I was!)
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to dan from sydney, my greatest fan,
Jun. 13th, 2007 | 10:50 pm
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FUCK.
May. 24th, 2007 | 10:02 pm
I want to unwatch every fucking episode of that show. I want it to have never existed. I am going to go back in time and kill JJ Abrams, just before he makes the last episode of Felicity.
My mind feels as though it has been gangraped by the entire population of Tunisia.
I am physically ill.
Jesus. H. Christ.
My mind feels as though it has been gangraped by the entire population of Tunisia.
I am physically ill.
Jesus. H. Christ.
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A thoughts on the final episode of Season 1 of Heroes
May. 22nd, 2007 | 11:34 pm
I came so hard I blew a hole in my desk.
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The Posthumus Postulates of Pope Paulo
May. 8th, 2007 | 10:36 pm
Idea for a tragic sci-fi love story
Isolated from the rest of the world for years by their differences, two empaths meet by chance in the street. Seeing eachother for what they are, they fall in love.
Two weeks later, the subsequent emotional feedback loop drives them to suicide.
Idea for a new website
Design Your Own Author
Similar to choose-your-own-adventure books, you read through a piece of fiction, but instead of choosing the actions of the protagonists, you choose the demeanour of the author, ie : romantic, sadistic, surrealistic.
Isolated from the rest of the world for years by their differences, two empaths meet by chance in the street. Seeing eachother for what they are, they fall in love.
Two weeks later, the subsequent emotional feedback loop drives them to suicide.
Idea for a new website
Design Your Own Author
Similar to choose-your-own-adventure books, you read through a piece of fiction, but instead of choosing the actions of the protagonists, you choose the demeanour of the author, ie : romantic, sadistic, surrealistic.
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Exegesis. Not Just For the Elderly!
May. 2nd, 2007 | 08:45 pm
The attendant took a long, slow drag from his cigarette. A car slowly pulled into the driveway, giving him ample time to drop the butt in an ash tray, straighten his hat and stand stiffly at the kerb.
The window glides down, and the driver nods at the Attendant. Swiftly, he reaches forward to open the door.
"So, did Madamoiselle make a decision concerning which dresses she would like to purchase?"
"Plehd. Nesk row tader."
A pretty young girl sits in the back seat, surrounded by hundreds of bags from high-class fashion stores. Her eyes swim in lazy circles, like a pair of stoned trout.
"Aha! I see you have been drinking. Again! How wonderous and not at all surprising! We can always count on Madamoiselle to maintain a level of inebrieated consistency unmatched by even the most devout."
From inside the car, the driver can be heard chuckling.
"Come, let us get you back up to your bedroom. I will call for the porters to fetch your purchases." Turning back towards the building, he shouts: "Edgar! Come fetch the bags!"
The young girl gurgles.
"And bring a bucket!" Reaching inside, the attendant drags the almost-comatose girl out by her forearm. Bags, dresses, shoes and empty bottles spill out onto the footpath. A crowd gathers.
"My, you obviously have been spending quite a lot! I wonder how many credit cards you burnt through today. Three? Four?"
"O? B'ma-dnag nit nemi rep xemai."
"Seven! My my. This is wonderful. This is obviously why I am paid so little, because you have many needs!"
An assistant arrives with a bucket. The girl lurches forward, seizes it and puts it on her head. The crowd grows.
"Red! Rognor wehtnieseht."
"You shall be inside soon, don't you worry."
"Dare? Ottuo bae-rau."
"Yes, yes, I agree. They are all lovely."
The attendant supports the young girl as she staggers forward, bucket perched rakisihly on her head. Someone in the crowd takes a photo.
"Oy!" cries the girl, as she stumbles into the door jamb.
The window glides down, and the driver nods at the Attendant. Swiftly, he reaches forward to open the door.
"So, did Madamoiselle make a decision concerning which dresses she would like to purchase?"
"Plehd. Nesk row tader."
A pretty young girl sits in the back seat, surrounded by hundreds of bags from high-class fashion stores. Her eyes swim in lazy circles, like a pair of stoned trout.
"Aha! I see you have been drinking. Again! How wonderous and not at all surprising! We can always count on Madamoiselle to maintain a level of inebrieated consistency unmatched by even the most devout."
From inside the car, the driver can be heard chuckling.
"Come, let us get you back up to your bedroom. I will call for the porters to fetch your purchases." Turning back towards the building, he shouts: "Edgar! Come fetch the bags!"
The young girl gurgles.
"And bring a bucket!" Reaching inside, the attendant drags the almost-comatose girl out by her forearm. Bags, dresses, shoes and empty bottles spill out onto the footpath. A crowd gathers.
"My, you obviously have been spending quite a lot! I wonder how many credit cards you burnt through today. Three? Four?"
"O? B'ma-dnag nit nemi rep xemai."
"Seven! My my. This is wonderful. This is obviously why I am paid so little, because you have many needs!"
An assistant arrives with a bucket. The girl lurches forward, seizes it and puts it on her head. The crowd grows.
"Red! Rognor wehtnieseht."
"You shall be inside soon, don't you worry."
"Dare? Ottuo bae-rau."
"Yes, yes, I agree. They are all lovely."
The attendant supports the young girl as she staggers forward, bucket perched rakisihly on her head. Someone in the crowd takes a photo.
"Oy!" cries the girl, as she stumbles into the door jamb.
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Regents Wrecking Rivulets of Repeating Sponge. Ad littera, rumpere infortunatus
May. 2nd, 2007 | 08:16 pm
The previous post should be considered redacted for the following reasons:
- It's not funny.
- It makes no sense
- Being slapped with a large trout is no laughing matter.
- Being laughed at while slapping a trout is considered an act heresy in Tonga.
- The commonly accepted MacErniston Quotient of Trout is 73i
- 73i trout cannot easily be expressed in terms understood by Milliners, Catholic Priests, Eucelidian Non-Adherants, Wookiees, Paul Keating or people from Broadmeadows
- ∴
- This stream of inanity has gone on far too long
- QED
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The Power of Christ's Second Cousin Edgar Compels You…to Engage In Cartography!
May. 2nd, 2007 | 08:01 pm
"Hugh?"
"Yes, Mary?"
"You're…prepared, aren't you?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Because I wouldn't want us to go any further if you weren't. This is the right thing to do, isn't it Hugh?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Did you bring the map?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Good. I wouldn't want to do this without the map."
"Yes, Mary."
"And, I know Father Richards said we shouldn't be thinking about doing it yet, but I'm beginning to have my doubts about the apparent authority of the Catholic Church on a great number of things. It seems so silly to let them tell us what to do all the time. It is silly, isn't it, Hugh?"
"Yes. Mary?"
"What is it Hugh?"
"…"
The sound of a large trout being slapped against the side of a human head echoes throughout the night.
Hugh sighs, contentedly.
"Yes, Mary?"
"You're…prepared, aren't you?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Because I wouldn't want us to go any further if you weren't. This is the right thing to do, isn't it Hugh?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Did you bring the map?"
"Yes, Mary."
"Good. I wouldn't want to do this without the map."
"Yes, Mary."
"And, I know Father Richards said we shouldn't be thinking about doing it yet, but I'm beginning to have my doubts about the apparent authority of the Catholic Church on a great number of things. It seems so silly to let them tell us what to do all the time. It is silly, isn't it, Hugh?"
"Yes. Mary?"
"What is it Hugh?"
"…"
The sound of a large trout being slapped against the side of a human head echoes throughout the night.
Hugh sighs, contentedly.